My friend and mentor Tess Taylor, President of the National Association of Record Industry Professionals invited me to an upcoming NARIP brunch in Hollywood. I attend many networking meetings throughout the year for various industries (Music, Design, Film, and TV are a few) and through some trial and error and help from people like Tess I’ve learned a few things.
Networking is a way to make important connections to move your career forward but make sure you are prepared. Being a conversation hog or being overly eccentric does make an impression, but not the kind that says you are serious about your career. And being a wallflower doesn’t make an impression at all.
You don’t have to be the smartest, wittiest or most attractive person in the room to make your mark. While some people naturally exude qualities that help them stand out in a crowd, making an impact on someone is a learnable skill. From lightening the mood to knowing when to duck out of a conversation, these eight tips will bring your networking skills to another level.
1. Be pleasant and full of praise.
One of the best ways to get people to remember you is to turn on the charm. For example, when you give someone you’ve just met a genuine compliment they’ll likely internalize those positive feelings towards you. However, don’t force it and try to be something you’re not—including funny. And remember, even if the food is bad or the weather is poor, don’t complain—you’ll only end up killing the mood and appearing as a Debbie Downer.
2. Have a balanced conversation.
Anyone who’s been on the silent end of a one-sided conversation knows how unpleasant it is, so be sure not to monopolize things. In other words, speak a little bit about yourself, then ask questions, being sure to give whoever you’re speaking to a chance to think and respond—without interrupting. The best conversations are a seamless back-and-forth banter because it creates the opportunity for mutual connections.
3. Dress to make the right impression.
Though a person’s opinion of you isn’t cemented the first time they see you (that usually happens at the end of a first interaction), the way you’re dressed or made up certainly tells a story about you. If you want your impression to end with a happy ending, express yourself through your clothing while also adhering to what’s appropriate for the situation. After all, not only can a bit of personal flair be a great conversation starter, but displaying a hint of style can also affect how you carry yourself. If you’re ever uncertain about what attire is suitable for an occasion, do a little research so the room will peg you as smart, creative and savvy before you’ve even said a word.
4. Convey interest.
An effective way to leave a good impression on someone you’ve just met is to ask them about themselves during the course of the conversation. When you’re interested, you’re interesting. Showing someone that you care about what they’re saying by asking questions as well as displaying subtle signs that you’re interested in the response, such as nodding or indicating agreement, makes them feel admired, which in turn makes them admire you.
5. Get real in your introduction.
The secret to a memorable introduction? Attach a “confessional-style” factoid when introducing yourself—the admission should be something that conveys vulnerability. The top quality that helps people connect with others is realness as it immediately wipes out any sense of competition, which can put people off. Something as simple as “Hi, I’m Liz—and I don’t know a single person here!” works because it relays to whoever you’re speaking that they, too, can be themselves.
6. Contribute to the conversation.
The goal is not to just be part of a room or conversation, but to add value to it. When you take a conversation one step further—whether by adding an interesting factoid or elaborating on something that has already been touched upon—people will note that you truly understand the topic at hand, which signals that you are equals and that there is potential for you to learn from each other. Another way to be of service is to actively try to make everybody around you more comfortable; try introducing people who haven’t previous met, or engage the person standing alone in the corner in a conversation. This type of action pins you as a giver as opposed to a taker which is a quality most people appreciate.
7. Make eye contact.
No matter who you’re speaking to, eye contact is the key to keeping someone interested and engaged. Making eye contact 70% to 80% of the time is considered normal and appropriate. When making an introduction to a group (which is the case for a NARIP brunch), many speakers are nervous so they tend to look for the reassuring faces—ones that are smiling, nodding and encouraging. Feel free to use this technique to ease your way in, but remember to include the entire audience as you move forward to avoid losing the room. If you have trouble making direct eye contact when speaking in public, Marshall suggests looking in between people. The most important thing is that you face the crowd.
8. Know when the conversation is over.
Knowing when to call it a wrap is crucial to leaving a positive impression. Each person should expose just enough that they’ll both feel satisfied and look forward to more. The best way to make sure you know when it’s time to go is to stay present—keep appropriate eye contact, listen carefully—so that you can pick up on the signals that the other person is ready to wind down the conversation. If they start eye-surfing or summarizing the chat, which can often be subconscious, it may be time to move on. If you miss the signs that the conversation has come to an end it could make you seem self-serving and disrespectful of someone’s time. Equally as important as finishing up at the right moment is ending the conversation on a positive note. Think of your farewell as the last verse or chord of a song—it sticks with you. Perhaps bring it full-circle and conclude with a compliment.
What is something you recommend for successful networking?